chapter two

I've never written anything like this. I have never actually shared a story as I'm writing it either so this should be an adventure. There will be no one saying "um no you shouldn't say that because you could go to jail" so who knows where this will lead me but as I type emotions are high and very strong. If i offend you then your taking advantage of your ex because you believe this is about you so whatever i don't pitty you as you don't pitty me......so don't bother. As i sit here my husband and I are awaiting a court hearing for February. He was recently caught driving without a license. What a fool your thinking......well when you need to make money to support your kids and can't get their on time if you walk and there is no bus station that works with your schedule and you have no one to help you commute well then what other choice do you have? You can't sit around and do nothing and you can't miss court dates unless your ready for a lovely warrant. What happens when you get caught? You go to jail.......and you stay there for quite a while and you get fined out the ass.....its illegal and you shouldn't do it. So Im not saying you should or i support it. As you read most of this i must tell you at the end this isn't a happy story so if your looking for a happy ending you may want to stop reading now actually you may of never wanted to start reading. We are going through all of this now so i won't be telling you that we are now millionaires living happily ever after. If some of this seems like I am going crazy well im highly stressed but im not going crazy i promise. What can you do when you want to help someone like this? Write a letter to your representitives and tell them nicely how you feel......how do you do that? Well here is a website to do so.... http://www.f4j.com/?gclid=CIbG-p3dq6YCFUHt7QodHl-CZQ i do not own that site nor do i have a membership but it can give hopeful stories to some or just show you more of what happens in the world of child support. Not to mention many of these people are very dedicated to the cause and do some pretty crazy shit which my family and I totally appreciate. Its these people we think of in our darkest moments. For any dead beat parent i would like to say the battle isn't over its just begun......fight your ass off with legal wits. I know attorneys aren't affordable but if you can get ahold of a pro bono lawyer do it. So i have kinda turned this back from a book to a blog but the point is still the same....Right now my husband is unable to see his child which is going to sound like an out of this world story but here we go for chapter two.

Chapter two: My husband was unfortunate to be born by the mother who bore him. Most good mothers stand beside their child no matter what but this mother bashes her child and allows others to join in the fun. He was told lies most his life and was told his dad was a no good person which well his dad is the most awesomest person anyone could meet. He is great with his grand children and my husband missed out on a life with his dad because of his mothers jealousy. I was interested in meeting my husbands father when I entered the relationship because i know that there are two sides of every story and hers just didn't sound right. I knew that you can find court records online through the courts website and that just opened a window for us to look into what was really happening. We once lived in the same home as his mother and many things occured and she moved out. When she moved out she asked us to pack up her room since she had to work and she knew we needed the room. When we did this we discovered letters taped on the inside top of the dresser and they were addressed to my husband. These are letters he never recieved. Caring letters from his dad expressing how he was glad to hear his son was doing so well and how proud he is of his son. Also money that was no longer in the envelopes were mentioned. Anytime my husband recieved anything from his dad for christmas he was never told that his dad sent them he was told they were presents from santa and was told sorry your dad didn't send you anything but thats okay its his loss.......well he was sending presents all along and letters asking about his son. Any trip taken to see his dad was supervised by his mother and he was not allowed to stay with his dad. His mother even went as far as getting restraining orders and using letters written (which were about religon) to keep him from  his dad......well a few years ago we got to spend time with his dad and heard about adventures they had that my husband can't remember because of how little he was. Pictures mad since then as well because the pictures he had went with those exact memories. I'm telling you now if your in this situation your kids will find out your lies cause they don't stay little forever. It's best to keep it real with them. My husband now wants to be around his dad, he wants to live near him. He found out that even not having him in his life that he turned out just like him according to his mother and my husband couldn't be prouder of the fact. To my father in law if your reading this. We love you, we appreciate you, and im glad you did everything you did, your grandchildren love and miss you and your the best father and father in law anyone could ask for. So back to my husbands wonderful sarrogate.....might as well call her that cause no mother leaves you with your sick grandmother to raise you or your grandfather a mother doesn't try to buy your love.......well this mother did......however in 2007 her second husband had a heart attack at work when he blew a stint that was put in years before......even this man  had my husbands back and supported his decisions however my husbands sarrogate decided to take him off of life support. My husband and I were pissed considering all the tests needed to be done to prove he was brain dead was not done......however with in ten minutes of being told he needs tests done because we aren't sure my mother n law said no just lets take him off life support. He died a day after my husbands birthday. Then a chain of events occured. My mother in law was an alcholic, she had many falls and many times calling us to come clean her up and we told her we coudln't sit there and watch this any longer or subject our kids to it.....well one day she did fall and a homeless stranger picked her up off the ground......well she thanked him by sleeping with him and telling us to get a life when we asked the man to leave. The very next day she is sober and wonders what the hell and has no recolection of this man or the fact that she told my children to call him grandpa and their grandpa had recently away and my children were not comfortable with this however she didnt' care cause this isn't about anyone but her.....later she found herself a new husband. He is on release from a prison. He strangled his first wife to death and yet she wonders why we don't want our children around them.....not to mention his ex wife isn't concerned wtih the safety of their child and sends him over to spend the night......this man is still being monitored in society and has said many nasty things to my husband and my self. So if my husband were to see his son. My stepson would go  home to a household full of questions such as where does your dad live? Why don't you know? What kind of stuff does he have in  his house cause he's spending his money somewhere. Oh he has a wii????? NO I GOT IT FOR THEM.......so now my kids are suppose to give up what they have as well because if they get something my husband who has no job and can't find one who is getting raped by enforcement and department of inconsiderate assholes must of bought it.....is she suffering......um no she isn't i believe her last complaint on a court paper was she couldn't afford cable. Yes i said cable, I don't know when it became a basic neccesity but thats her only complaint. She has often told me their child isn't my problem but in the same breath she will ask my husband why i can't pay her child support. Funny how that works isn't it. Well she now gets our tax money, she gets any inheritance my husband gets when family memembers die. She also gets half his check, the courts even state he could sell his car. Well I have a daughter with a heart condition who may need surgery later on.....do the courts or other places he has to deal with care? No the don't care at all. So as i watch my husband go to jail next month I will hold my head high and I will not leave him. One day everyone meets karma and I can't wait till she does. She also states she loves my husband.......yeah she is showing she loves the fuck out of him......she also tells his son how awful he is yet she is the one who caused this all the day she was unfaithful. Its sad that you wish you would of never met someone......and its said when you can't wait till the day  your child turns 18 so they can't be a paycheck anymore. If you ever decide to have kids get a pre nup if your not married then don't have kids with the person cause they will screw you one day.......i don't believe there is such a thing as a good relationship after divorce and if their is these people are decent and there aren't many out there......as for all these people saying how can i make it without childsupport and the ex still see's the child picks up the child and shares the same amount of time with the child......well how is the ex suppose to make it? These laws are not fair and if you were an outsider looking in on the situation what would you honestly say about it? People need to come together to fight for rights for the non custodial parents.