chapter two

I've never written anything like this. I have never actually shared a story as I'm writing it either so this should be an adventure. There will be no one saying "um no you shouldn't say that because you could go to jail" so who knows where this will lead me but as I type emotions are high and very strong. If i offend you then your taking advantage of your ex because you believe this is about you so whatever i don't pitty you as you don't pitty me......so don't bother. As i sit here my husband and I are awaiting a court hearing for February. He was recently caught driving without a license. What a fool your thinking......well when you need to make money to support your kids and can't get their on time if you walk and there is no bus station that works with your schedule and you have no one to help you commute well then what other choice do you have? You can't sit around and do nothing and you can't miss court dates unless your ready for a lovely warrant. What happens when you get caught? You go to jail.......and you stay there for quite a while and you get fined out the ass.....its illegal and you shouldn't do it. So Im not saying you should or i support it. As you read most of this i must tell you at the end this isn't a happy story so if your looking for a happy ending you may want to stop reading now actually you may of never wanted to start reading. We are going through all of this now so i won't be telling you that we are now millionaires living happily ever after. If some of this seems like I am going crazy well im highly stressed but im not going crazy i promise. What can you do when you want to help someone like this? Write a letter to your representitives and tell them nicely how you feel......how do you do that? Well here is a website to do so.... http://www.f4j.com/?gclid=CIbG-p3dq6YCFUHt7QodHl-CZQ i do not own that site nor do i have a membership but it can give hopeful stories to some or just show you more of what happens in the world of child support. Not to mention many of these people are very dedicated to the cause and do some pretty crazy shit which my family and I totally appreciate. Its these people we think of in our darkest moments. For any dead beat parent i would like to say the battle isn't over its just begun......fight your ass off with legal wits. I know attorneys aren't affordable but if you can get ahold of a pro bono lawyer do it. So i have kinda turned this back from a book to a blog but the point is still the same....Right now my husband is unable to see his child which is going to sound like an out of this world story but here we go for chapter two.

Chapter two: My husband was unfortunate to be born by the mother who bore him. Most good mothers stand beside their child no matter what but this mother bashes her child and allows others to join in the fun. He was told lies most his life and was told his dad was a no good person which well his dad is the most awesomest person anyone could meet. He is great with his grand children and my husband missed out on a life with his dad because of his mothers jealousy. I was interested in meeting my husbands father when I entered the relationship because i know that there are two sides of every story and hers just didn't sound right. I knew that you can find court records online through the courts website and that just opened a window for us to look into what was really happening. We once lived in the same home as his mother and many things occured and she moved out. When she moved out she asked us to pack up her room since she had to work and she knew we needed the room. When we did this we discovered letters taped on the inside top of the dresser and they were addressed to my husband. These are letters he never recieved. Caring letters from his dad expressing how he was glad to hear his son was doing so well and how proud he is of his son. Also money that was no longer in the envelopes were mentioned. Anytime my husband recieved anything from his dad for christmas he was never told that his dad sent them he was told they were presents from santa and was told sorry your dad didn't send you anything but thats okay its his loss.......well he was sending presents all along and letters asking about his son. Any trip taken to see his dad was supervised by his mother and he was not allowed to stay with his dad. His mother even went as far as getting restraining orders and using letters written (which were about religon) to keep him from  his dad......well a few years ago we got to spend time with his dad and heard about adventures they had that my husband can't remember because of how little he was. Pictures mad since then as well because the pictures he had went with those exact memories. I'm telling you now if your in this situation your kids will find out your lies cause they don't stay little forever. It's best to keep it real with them. My husband now wants to be around his dad, he wants to live near him. He found out that even not having him in his life that he turned out just like him according to his mother and my husband couldn't be prouder of the fact. To my father in law if your reading this. We love you, we appreciate you, and im glad you did everything you did, your grandchildren love and miss you and your the best father and father in law anyone could ask for. So back to my husbands wonderful sarrogate.....might as well call her that cause no mother leaves you with your sick grandmother to raise you or your grandfather a mother doesn't try to buy your love.......well this mother did......however in 2007 her second husband had a heart attack at work when he blew a stint that was put in years before......even this man  had my husbands back and supported his decisions however my husbands sarrogate decided to take him off of life support. My husband and I were pissed considering all the tests needed to be done to prove he was brain dead was not done......however with in ten minutes of being told he needs tests done because we aren't sure my mother n law said no just lets take him off life support. He died a day after my husbands birthday. Then a chain of events occured. My mother in law was an alcholic, she had many falls and many times calling us to come clean her up and we told her we coudln't sit there and watch this any longer or subject our kids to it.....well one day she did fall and a homeless stranger picked her up off the ground......well she thanked him by sleeping with him and telling us to get a life when we asked the man to leave. The very next day she is sober and wonders what the hell and has no recolection of this man or the fact that she told my children to call him grandpa and their grandpa had recently away and my children were not comfortable with this however she didnt' care cause this isn't about anyone but her.....later she found herself a new husband. He is on release from a prison. He strangled his first wife to death and yet she wonders why we don't want our children around them.....not to mention his ex wife isn't concerned wtih the safety of their child and sends him over to spend the night......this man is still being monitored in society and has said many nasty things to my husband and my self. So if my husband were to see his son. My stepson would go  home to a household full of questions such as where does your dad live? Why don't you know? What kind of stuff does he have in  his house cause he's spending his money somewhere. Oh he has a wii????? NO I GOT IT FOR THEM.......so now my kids are suppose to give up what they have as well because if they get something my husband who has no job and can't find one who is getting raped by enforcement and department of inconsiderate assholes must of bought it.....is she suffering......um no she isn't i believe her last complaint on a court paper was she couldn't afford cable. Yes i said cable, I don't know when it became a basic neccesity but thats her only complaint. She has often told me their child isn't my problem but in the same breath she will ask my husband why i can't pay her child support. Funny how that works isn't it. Well she now gets our tax money, she gets any inheritance my husband gets when family memembers die. She also gets half his check, the courts even state he could sell his car. Well I have a daughter with a heart condition who may need surgery later on.....do the courts or other places he has to deal with care? No the don't care at all. So as i watch my husband go to jail next month I will hold my head high and I will not leave him. One day everyone meets karma and I can't wait till she does. She also states she loves my husband.......yeah she is showing she loves the fuck out of him......she also tells his son how awful he is yet she is the one who caused this all the day she was unfaithful. Its sad that you wish you would of never met someone......and its said when you can't wait till the day  your child turns 18 so they can't be a paycheck anymore. If you ever decide to have kids get a pre nup if your not married then don't have kids with the person cause they will screw you one day.......i don't believe there is such a thing as a good relationship after divorce and if their is these people are decent and there aren't many out there......as for all these people saying how can i make it without childsupport and the ex still see's the child picks up the child and shares the same amount of time with the child......well how is the ex suppose to make it? These laws are not fair and if you were an outsider looking in on the situation what would you honestly say about it? People need to come together to fight for rights for the non custodial parents.

The beginning unedited book about how child support effects families

Chapter one

As I sit here with my life in a standstill I feel the need to share my life with someone. I know what I say won't be any comfort to anyone. Yet I do know that it can show someone out there that they aren't alone. I'm hoping to also show everyone what really goes on in the life of a dead beat dad and his second family. What do I mean by second family? Well if you're married to someone who has been married and had children then got divorced and you're the second spouse and have children then you're the second family and you don't matter to any court, well five percent of you does but that's about it, you're only worth five percent. Before I start this i want you to know that i don't disagree with child support when its needed but when it's not i have a problem. I also would like to ask the president that caused all this mess how he sleeps at night. This isn't a pretty story. This is my life. These are my opinions. I am not here to argue or debate with anyone so before that starts......i really don't care what anyone thinks. I'm basically stating the facts in my life. I am not book savvy so i will not be calling the actual companies by their names because i don't feel like being sued because i basically have no money to give for they have taken it all already. I will also state another simple fact before its thrown up in my face. I receive child support from my ex husband for a child we had in my first marriage........and i think its necessary since he chose to walk out on his son. He has no contact, he doesn't spend any time with his child at all and hasn't seen him in a couple of years so yeah i feel he needs to help financially. His new wife can't stand me and the fact that I was going to put a restraining order on her for calling me a bitch and alienating my child from me, and trying to punch or slap me outside of a courtroom and I have said nothing to this girl who is half my age but i have told my ex husband that even i don't say ill things about him in front of our child and I ask for the same respect. If that pushed him away from his child so be it because it was doing damage to our child. Why I am not publishing this piece of work to make money? Because those who need it to hear it can't afford it. I hate websites for those who are in my situation that cost money. It's bullshit cause you know if they are in this situation they don't have the money for anything and what they do have has to go to food, the other child ect. This book is about Child support. The department we are going to call the department of inconsiderate assholes. The other company we are going to call rape you in the ass enforcement. Did you know many have killed themselves because they wanted to pay but couldn't and they couldn't take what was  being done to them? Its because they are weak and cowards some say.....i say it takes balls to take your own life and it is an end to the suffering so i can't really blame them or make judgment on them yet i don't recommend anyone take their life but i can understand why those that have done it did it. In July of 2005 I met the man of my dreams. He is my world and still is till this day. We will just call him Jay. His first marriage ended because his spouse was a cheater. He didn't want to live that kind of life style anymore nor did he want to catch any diseases. When he divorced he has joint custody/shared parenting. The way the courts deal with this is parents share the same amount of time with the child give or take a day or several. My husband was ordered to pay five hundred dollars a month in child support at the time he agreed to it. Sadly if he had gone by the child support guidelines and it was equal the amount would of been a lot less. When i came into his life his ex had a reality check and started to freak out because not only was a divorced filled so she could get remarried but now Jay was in a relationship. Calls started coming in from her stating she needed to talk to him about their son. Which of course could not be done over the phone by her standards. So when he went to talk to her guess what? It wasn't about their child it was take me back pllllllleeeeaaaaasssssseeee tears, tears, sob, sob........I'll be the wife you dreamed of......that told my husband run!!!!!!!!!!!! Then the next thing was an anniversary, she came over on their anniversary and asked him if he was sure he wanted to get a divorce. Yes it sounds crazy but she did. He again told her he can't wait! Some people just don't understand what their actions do to other people. Shortly after the divorce I got pregnant. The first rumor she started was it wasn't his baby. Then when he went to drop his son off from his visit she was so pissed she yelled congratulations on the baby. He said thank you which furthered her rage. Then the calls came in about how his son didn't feel like a part of the family yet when his son was asked how he feels  he was excited but said his mom said all kinds of stuff cause she was mad. So you can just imagine the stuff this six year old boy was feeling. His mother was so adamant about me being gotten rid of she asked my  husband to meet her at the park so she could again tell him about how their son did not like the situation......what did this woman want me to have an abortion.....i think not. This all continued on. She would show up at family functions speaking rudely to me and i let her because she was only making an ass of herself and after she left i found out i wasn't the only one who thought it. many said she was jealous many said she was the stupid bitch who caused the break up and many said she didn't belong at family events cause she was no longer my husband's family. On the day i delivered my child with this man his ex wife actually called our hospital room to discuss with him matters of their son......come on now there is a time and a place and this wasn't the time.....thanks to my mother in law for giving her the personal information she needed to get a hold of my husband. All this harassing guess what? There is nothing that can be done about it but a judge will say now now you shouldn't be doing that. Not to mention she would start fights each and every time she called and she did it in front of their child. Now imagine living with that kind of drama and dealing with the court system the department of assholes. My husband lost his job during the recession. Have you tried getting a job lately without a degree? Yeah good luck with that. There are papers you can file to temporary relief but you have to go and file a motion to do so and hope that the department of assholes will be lenient cause most of the time they tell you they don't give a damn where the money comes from but you better find it and only give you a few hours to do so or go to jail. Considering your child is with you half of the time and with your ex on the other half for shared parenting why in the fuck can't both parties just take care of the child when it's with them? Split the doctors bills and insurance because i think it is wrong to make these parents pay for when the child is with them throughout the summer. The non custodial parent has to take care of the child when the child is with them as well and when they are with the other parent and yet we call this fair in the state....I call it bullshit. Did you know that half your check gets taken? Yes half and if you have a family they let you keep five percent extra but that's it. So let's say you get 1000 a month you only actually get 500 to live on.  On top of that you have to also pay your child's health insurance and half the bill that the insurance doesn't cover. I know what you're thinking...just call the department of assholes and tell them your situation they can help you work it out.......that is the biggest joke ever told. The department of assholes get money for you being what society calls a dead beat so they hope you fail and get a pretty bonus when you do. Why in the hell are they going to help you? Now you're thinking that's illegal!!!!! Yep sure is but do you want to go against the government? Cause that's who gives them their bonus's. But wait! It gets worse......when you get behind on your child support by a few payments you lose your driver's license so now you can't get to work to make the money to pay your child support and now you can't see your child because your ex doesn't give a damn and won't bring you the child or you know when they do it will be another argument and you got enough on your damn plate why can't the bitch/asshole just stay in the fucking car? Then they report you to the nice credit people so everyone knows you're a dead beat so you can forget any loan you might of been able to get to help you pay your child support. Then tada you go to court and they tell you to give them 1,000.00 or go to jail. What you have other children and no one to keep them while you're in jail well child services will take them and most likely miss place them and they will be abused before you see them again. Then while you're in jail all this starts all over cause you still owe child support however  you gotta come up with the back owed in order to get out of jail. So you can join a inmate work program and make a check for 34 dollars a week and have nothing to show for it cause the amount you made doesn't even put a dent in it and you got more rears following you as you sweat your ass off doing someone else's work. Hey be happy though people's taxes are paying for your time in jail and you get to eat and have a roof over your head. So yeah it's a waste of tax payers' dollars. most of these men aren't running either they are trying but since the department of assholes hear it so much that when someone is sincere well they don't really give fuck. You also should of thought about it when you had more kids......even though most have children with new spouses when they were paying child support and up to date with it. So if you have been divorced with children don't move on with life cause you're a loser and will never amount to anything. Under this will be websites to support what i have said thus far and if for some reason this blog disappears well its because no one wants you to see what actually goes on with this whole system. I do not own any of these video's they are merely references.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M7cEi61W24

http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/childsupport.html